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A community of cancer survivors supporting each other.

Paranoid.

I am now 6 years out. Every test has came back clean. I hate using positive and negative. I remember being told I had came back positive to begin with. It just seems strange to hear positive and think it is so negative.

Each time I get any new ache or pain the lingering thougt is always there. Is it back? No one knows how this feels. The panic of being sick again.

I have gone from sleeping all day long to being busy all day long. I have children to taxi around. It is exhausting!

I have fired my endo. I always hated going to his very cramped office. It took half a day to wait. The whole experience every 6 months was a tiny hell. His office did a ton of diabatic patients. I always felt strange being on the younger side and also not there for my diabetes.

I am finally losing a considerable amount of weight. I am extremly happy to have this ability back. I have been exercising and it is great! A couple of years ago it was impossible to just stay awake. It takes a ton of just sheer will to force myself into doing things sometimes. I know it is better to get moving. But getting up and getting in motion can be daunting sometimes.

I always read stories about people feeling better and having more engery and never thought it would be me.

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I am so glad you have switched your endo. I have been on chemo for two years and there is no way to describe the fatigue. However, for every day I wake up free of pain and next to this wonderful man of mine, I am grateful. My situation differs so much from yours. We had 4 children and chauffeuring them to their activities as a full time nurse was exhausting BUT I did not have cancer at that time, I had not had my thyroid removed although have had a partial, I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to be so very young with young children to care for. My heart goes out to you and I hope you have ways of refilling your well.
Jess-Thank you for posting this. I can completely relate to you. I always have cancer in the back of my mind. When I get sick-especially when something is wrong with my throat: I tend to freak out. My daughter is 9 years old. She was five when I went through treatment. My coughing and choking was always a sign to her that I was sick. She covers her ears now when I cough and choke which is a daily occurrence. I am a single mom so I stay strong for her. I am definitely paranoid right now. I have had a cough and sore throat for 7 months. We continue to rule out all causes that are not cancer. CT scans in 1 month.


Hi Jess - I think being paranoid is part of the "new normal".

Hi Karen - when I was first diagnosed it was for a persistent cough that would go away with steroids only to come back within 48 hours after stopping them. During the course testing the thyroid cancer was found and it was the hope that the pressure from the tumors was causing the cough - it wasn't as the cough came back 3 days post op. I recovered for 10 days and then started the LID for treatment - 3 days into the LID the cough stopped! What had changed was that I had removed all dairy and nuts from my diet. It turns out the cough from from allergies to milk and nuts! After LID I tried drinking milk and the cough returned; as it did when I ate trail mix. I no longer drink cows milk and I'm very limited on cheese and greek yogurt as I'm now lactose intolerant. But you might look into this and see if there is any food / food group that you have every day. Try removing it from your diet for a week and see if you have improvement. While I'm grateful the cancer was found, to this day I'm very resentful that I spent thousands of dollars on tests when the problem didn't need a test at all. Take care.
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Vital Info

Posts

February 2, 2011

vegas, Nevada

September 7, 1977

Cancer Fighter

Cancer Info

Thyroid Cancer

papillary carcinoma

December 31, 2011

Stage 2

Yes

I'm so tired

it stinks

Let me sleep.

life goes on

So tired I want to cry.

1/29/2011 surgery to remove thyroid

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